Sociology of dropping names

By: Jhilam RoyChowdhury

When I decided to give it a try, barely did I know that it was going to be a revealing experience. Although I must admit that I wanted everybody to relive those moments which we cherished for about three years, three eventful, youthful years in college, which we left behind around 17 years back!

My long time friend was visiting India during this Puja after many years with family from USA. She called me up few months back to share her visit plan and also asked if I am in touch with any of our college friends whom she can catch up with. I thought, why not? What could be a better gift to her? I started dropping few names with whom I occasionally speak to and few others who remain dormant in my ‘friend list’- thanks to social network sites. There my journey began to reunite as many members possible from my batch of the under graduate department of sociology, Asutosh college, Calcutta. My challenges were many, time to sit in computer and find contact and informing them about plans, collecting phone numbers, setting up a date, all along with managing my office and tours and shopping for Puja for family. And last but not the least was the execution of the plan of reunion. This means finalising venue and other logistics.

In the first phase, I found some of them are quick to response if not quick but at least consistent in responding in the FB. That was a good sign which encouraged me to go ahead. Next came the task of coordinating with friends living in other parts of the country, if they are visiting the city during Puja. Getting a date was the toughest of all. But I must say that most of the friends I contacted showed eagerness to the idea. My strategy was to let the idea flow and not push them. At the end I proposed a date with assertiveness, and it worked. I managed to confirm 6 of them and it was not bad number considering the size of the class and the class room, infamous room no. 27 in Asutosh college.

Just before the day of meeting I started calling up and get confirmation. To my surprise, it seemed that nothing really changed in all these years! Same kind of apprehension about each other, same curiosity and similar equation we used to have years back! I was really looking forward to this get together. I was sure its going to be so different than rest of the parties where you already know who drinks what and who sings well and who would be the bartender and so on and so forth. I am going to enjoy it.

Bringing to an end to my apprehension, the crowd started flowing in accompanying with kids. My sister, the all time gate crusher, played perfect hostess. This one time I am glad she chipped in. She played role of nanny by taking care of the kids who never bothered us, perfect friend who went out and bought drinks for us. She took care that everybody gets adequate heated food and also cleaned the whole house after the party was over.

Coming to the actual party! I found everybody to be really glad to meet each other after many years. They thanked me profusely for taking the pain of organizing it, congratulate me on my apartment and the décor of it, credit for which actually go to my sister again. They helped me in serving, they helped themselves. In nutshell, they felt at home. I was more interested to hear what they have to say about themselves. What we call ‘catching up’. It is really interesting to find that they are drawing many references of their lives and related events which may not be logically connected. How you take forward a comment made by other and use it as window to give a sneak pick of your life. This can be taken to the level of art. Who is the greatest artist of all.  Say for example, referring to the name of celebrity who carries your number or visited your home when your father was not well. How you are connected with the most respected universities of U S, what kind of loans you hold currently. I and few others learnt the art of dropping names…..which….how….when.

To me the most interesting and satisfactory part is when someone correctly remember the full names of all members of the class, try to find out what they are doing now and where. It was wonderful when we try to recall some of the embarrassing moments, popular events and quotes of yesteryears. Some members come out with flying colours, fresh, jovial and more participative than ever.

What I felt at the end that it is not necessary to be equal, we were never equal when we met 20 years back. We almost remain same as were that many years back. I firmly now believe that by the time you are 18+ your personality and individuality is already formed. You are shaped up as young adult. What we learn and absorb for first 18 years of our lives is what we become later on. We hardly change and barely mould. Yes, what we experience in our lives weather us, mature us, develop us.